ALIVE WITH PLEASURE! - This thief may be seen smoking morning, noon, and night after grabbing two (2) cartons from the 7-11 store on Brownsville Road. Reports indicated that this subject walked into the store and approached the counter after selecting a 32 oz. Arizona Green Tea. The subject asked for two (2) packs of Newport cigarettes, but then changed his mind and upgraded his order to two (2) cartons. Once presented with the cartons, the subject wasted no time to exit the store without paying for the merchandise and drove away in an unknown vehicle.
Officials would not speculate on how long it would take the Smokey Hoaxster to smoke 400 cigarettes, but @ 6 mins per, he could be smoking uninterrupted for approximately 40 hours. If you notice a man excessively smoking Newport cigarettes and matching the description, call the Lower Southampton Police Department at 215.357.1235 or submit a tip.
He left the Arizona Iced Tea.